Jets, Baltimore Ravens … Eagles? What squad is the unhappiest after the first five weeks of the NFL season?

We are beyond the 25% point of the NFL season, which indicates we have a good idea of the direction of most teams. So let’s examine the teams whose good vibes have vanished after Week 5. Remember these aren’t necessarily the most terrible squads in the league (the Tennessee Titans and Browns, for example, are poor but are generally playing as expected) as much as the ones who have been greatest underachievers.

New York Jets: Winless at 0-5

The sole franchise without a victory in the league, the Jets fit every criteria for despair. There have been heartbreaking defeats, starting with Chris Boswell drilling a 60-yard game-winner for the Steelers in the season opener. And there have been routs like Sunday’s 37-22 beating to the Cowboys, which was far more lopsided than the numbers imply. The Jets’ presumed asset, their defense, became the first 0-5 team with no forced turnovers in league history. The Jets continue to hurt their own cause with flags, mistakes, poor offensive line play, lack of fourth-down execution and lackluster coaching. Somehow the Jets are deteriorating weekly. If that didn't suffice this has been happening for a long time: their playoff drought of over a decade is the most extended in football. And with one of the worst owners in the league, it could last a long time.

Despair Index: 9/10 – What is Aaron Glenn's future?

Baltimore Ravens: Struggling at 1-4

Certainly, it’s simple to blame Baltimore’s loss to Houston on Sunday to Jackson not playing. But a 44-10 scoreline – the most lopsided home defeat in franchise history – is shameful and even a star like Jackson isn’t going to tip the scales if his defensive unit, which in fairness has been ravaged by injuries, is awful. Making matters worse, the Ravens defense offered little resistance against the Texans. It was a productive outing for Houston's QB, the running back, and the rest.

Nevertheless, Jackson is expected back in the coming weeks, they play in a less competitive division and their upcoming slate is manageable, so optimism remains. But given how sloppy the Ravens have executed with or without Jackson, the confidence level is nearly depleted.

Misery rating: 6/10 - The Steelers probably won’t run away with the division.

Bengals Fall to 2-3

The issue here is one incident: Joe Burrow’s season-ending injury in the second week. A trio of games without Burrow has resulted in three losses. It’s difficult to watch two of the league’s best receivers, Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins, doing their thing with nothing to show for it. Chase hauled in a pair of big scores and significant yardage on Sunday in a 37-24 beating to one of the league’s best teams, the Detroit. But Cincinnati’s offense did most of the damage once the result was beyond doubt. Simultaneously, Burrow’s stand-in, the substitute QB, while promising in the final period against the Lions, has mostly been a disaster. His three turnovers on Sunday cost the Bengals.

No franchise in football relies so heavily on the fitness of a single athlete like the Bengals do with Burrow. Optimistic fans will highlight the fact that they will be a playoff team when Burrow returns the following campaign, if he can avoid injury. But merely a month into this season, the season looks essentially finished for Cincinnati.

Suffering Score: 6/10 – Bengals supporters are again pondering what might have been.

Raiders Drop to 1-4

Let Maxx Crosby go, who continues to be one of the few good things in a weird new era of Raiders misery. Sunday’s 40-6 blowout loss to the Indianapolis was more proof of the ill-fated union of the signal-caller and the head coach in the Las Vegas. Smith has been a mistake-prone player, leading the league this season with nine turnovers. His two turnovers in the fifth game produced Indianapolis scores. Nobody knows what the alternative is, but the current approach – being relying entirely on Smith – is a very painful watch.

Despair Index: 7/10 – Chip Kelly's offense requires immediate changes.

Surprise Entry! Philadelphia Eagles (4-1)

Indeed, they’re the current title holders. And yes, they have suffered merely two losses in 22 contests. But amid the wideout and the pass-catcher showing frustration with their positions, fan complaints about their sluggish offense and the Philadelphia's uncertainty about the head man, you’d think the Eagles were winless. Yes, Sunday’s breakdown was alarming: the Eagles squandered a two-score advantage to Denver in the last quarter thanks to multiple flags, an attack that vanished, and a defensive scheme that was beaten and outthought by the Broncos' coach. Stranger events have occurred. Still, they were on the end of debated officiating and are equal with the top mark in their conference. Where are the smiles?

Suffering Score: 3/10 - The atmosphere might be negative but Philadelphia will make the playoffs.

Also Noteworthy: Arizona Cardinals (2-3)

The Cardinals are mediocre rather than awful, but their shameful 22-21 defeat to the formerly victory-less Titans was badly executed. A goalline fumble from the running back, who prematurely celebrated a long run prematurely, followed by a fumbled Cardinals interception that resulted in a opposing TD cost Arizona the game. You couldn't imagine this loss if you tried. Since this, and their earlier setbacks, were on clutch field goals, there can’t be much joy in Arizona these days. “I'm at a loss for words,” the signal-caller said after the game. “I'm confused. I truly don't understand. That's a textbook example of losing. I'm not sure. It was crazy.”

Misery rating: 3/10 – Is Kyler Murray still the future?

MVP of the week


Rico Dowdle, running back, Carolina Panthers. The ball carrier, replacing the hurt starter, {could do with a little more confidence|

Wayne Gregory
Wayne Gregory

A passionate chef and food writer specializing in Arctic cuisine, with years of experience exploring remote culinary traditions.

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